I read a very good article by Alistair Cockburn (no online link…sorry…dead tree magazine, by subscription only) that discusses the likelihood that many stakeholders use "game boards" to direct their activities during requirements elicitation. Quoting (with proper attribution!):
"[W]e really can't understand what is happening on the project without taking into account the side games that people are playing at the same time."
Better Software Magazine, August 2007, pg. 33
The concept here is that everybody, including and especially stakeholders, use "game boards" that can be predicted using activity theory. As an example, a project sponsor may be (quoting again) "…playing on game boards centered around career growth, relationships with peers, and relationships with other communities (user communities, business partners, etc.). The outcome of the game called build system X is evaluated by the sponsor with respect to how his position changes on all those other game boards."
My question for y'all is, "How often do we move beyond the things we need to know about the project at hand, to understanding what it is that makes our stakeholders tick?"
Thoughts?

2 Comments
For me, building up a comfortable relationship with the stakeholder is the best way to get a good enough rapport going to really get at their core requirements. Empathizing with personal issues is always a good way to build a relationship.
Some of my stakeholders have had a bad perception of “IT” as people who come in and install software without any real understanding of the business. I really had to work with them to make them realize that my job function was really to listen to what their requirements were so that IT could design a solution to fit their needs.
I agree with Tom about the importance of perception. For each project I have a domain specialist assigned to work with me. This relationship is crucial to the project and I work to make us become a team, what means, sharing the same vision. Most of times, it's my vision that adapts to meet their visions, but it's part of our area's orientation. About games, it's true that their visions are not limited to the project scope and other subjects, most personnel always interfere. It's common for me to have a hidden goal in my projects "help on my partners career growth". Kerber ITBA – Digitro Technology http://www.digitro.com http://www.kerber.com.br